My Favorite Advice to New Wives

My Three Favorite Verses to Share with New Wives

Note: This post was originally published in 2016. I’ve brought it over to join the content here at the new home of The Diligent Woman.

The title says this is advice for “new wives”, which is true, but as with all of God’s word, theses verses have value to all of us in one way or another. Single, married, widowed, male or female. So, please don’t stop reading just because you are not a “new wife”.

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Over the past few years a lovely tradition has come about whenever young couples get married.

As you walk into the bridal shower a new Bible is on a table. There are highlighters, paper book marks, and pens. A sign invites each attendee to share their favorite Bible verse or two, mark them in the Bible with the highlighter, and leave a message on a bookmark that is then left in the Bible. This produces a beautiful gift that is full of ready to use wisdom and good encouragement.

How often do you have the advice of the elderly women, women your mother's age, and your compatriots of similar age to you all gathered in one place? I think it is just wonderful. The focus is on God's word more than the sage advice of any woman. Each woman looks to God and shares how she has applied His teachings to the benefit of her life and relationships.

There are many who give the expected verses on marriage, others who share the verses that hold them up through difficult times, some share the verses that remind them of God's provision the most.

Here are the three that I remind myself of often and share with new brides-to-be.

1). Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

"The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil."

Marriage is a crazy business sometimes. It is wonderful one day and tragic the next. It is something that takes up our energy and focus, as it should (1 Cor. 7:32-34). Sometimes, we get so lost in the day-to-day that we lose what our BIG focus is meant to be. As wives we are to be submitting to, loving, and honoring our husbands because this is what God has commanded us to do. When we lash out because our feelings get hurt - we are focused on ourselves. We get angry at his inability to put the trash INTO the trashcan instead of the counter above it (ladies, I have been married over 30 years - there is no explanation for it, just throw it away yourself when you see it and move on. Save your brain power and energy for other things. Same goes for socks next to the clothes hamper ;) ). Again, we are focused on ourselves rather than what God would have us to do.

The small things tend to become big things because we focus on them too much. Every day put your focus back on putting God first and bringing glory to Him in the way you go about your day. Post these verses where you can see them to remind you to keep on keeping on.

2.) Matthew 7:12

"In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Selfishness. What an ugly word. Protecting ourselves and knowing our limits need to be part of our reality too. How to balance the two? Matthew 7:12, for me, is what brings things back into perspective.

Here’s a way to walk through the thoughts about an issue -

Am I worried about this **whatever** because it is valuable to worry about?

How would I want my husband to approach me in regards to something like this?

Would I appreciate having THIS **whatever** made into something I needed to now worry about?

OK, it is something that needs to be brought to his attention. How would I want him to bring up this touchy subject to me if the roles were reversed?

Is right NOW the moment I need to bring this up?

Stopping to think instead of popping off is always a wise thing to do (Prov. 17:28; Prov. 20:3). Considering the words, the way they will sound and what they will mean to your husband is also wise (Prov. 15:1). (Yes, after 30 years, I still need reminding of this.)

3.) Acts 5:1-10

"Then Peter said to her, 'Why is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out as well.'" (Acts 5:9)

Sapphira 2.11

This is not the nicest of marriage moments in Scripture, I will give you that. There is an important lesson learned here beyond the not lying to God aspect.

Ananias was struck dead when he held to the lie about the gift he and his wife, Sapphira, were making to the brethren. Sapphira was not struck dead at that moment. When she came in later, unaware of what had happened to her husband, she was asked about the amount of the gift. God, through Peter, gave her the opportunity to represent her own beliefs and actions separate from that of her husband. We are to assume that had she repented of agreeing to and participating in the lie, she would not have died.

Submission and loyalty between spouses is an important thing. A woman is to recognize her husband's authority and choose to submit herself to it (Eph. 5:22-24). She allows him to do his part while she focuses on her part. Scripture NEVER suggests that submission means a woman go along with her man in SIN. Acts 5:1-10 shows the truth of Galatians 3:28 "...there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." It also exemplifies Paul's statement that there is "no partiality with God" (Rom. 2:11; Eph. 6:9; Col. 3:25).

So wives, while you go about your day finding loving ways to care for your husband, do not forget to keep God's commandments first in your heart. Consider how you would like to be treated in a given situation before you take a situation to him. Protect your soul and your marriage by not following your man into sin if he chooses to go that way. Who knows what wall of protection YOUR good actions may be for the both of you (1 Pet. 3:1-6). Take these three verses for wives and use them to strengthen your marriage daily.

Speak wisdom and walk in the Spirit so that you may see "good days" (1 Pet. 3:10-12)!

What is your favorite verse that holds you up as a wife? What was the best advice you were given as you prepared to marry? What was the worst? I would love to hear about your experience!

Enjoy!

PS Want to learn more about being a Godly woman, wife, and mother? Check out our Bible Study Guide "To Be a Handmaid of the Lord"